The author of The Devil is Smooth Like Honey, Always be a Wolf, We're All Animals, Different Shades of the Same Color, Her Name is Mariah, Fire, A Spark before the Fire and The Rock Star of Vampires. This is the confessional blog account of her life, opinions, and thoughts on the world around her. Check out MIma on Youtube -https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsz2gu8qWE-GeNclVnru0dQ?disable_polymer=true
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
Perspective is Everything
A friend recently commented that she felt the need to hold back on announcing her amazing accomplishment on Facebook. She feared it would seem like bragging and it would turn people off. I asked her one simple question;
If you were a man, would you even be asking this?
Certainly not to suggest men are the ideal that women should be modeling themselves from, but the idea behind the question is to change your perspective. For example, you might ask someone what the 5 year-old version of themselves would think in the same situation or if this issue would matter if they were currently on their deathbed. The angle for which we view things can sometimes change everything.
During this particular conversation, we decided that the male version of her wouldn’t hesitate to announce these accomplishments; in fact, he would probably relish in doing so and have little concern if it ruffled anyone’s feathers.
I think one of the biggest mistakes women make is worrying about what others think. It’s almost like there is a set of unwritten rules for females that are cryptic, assumed to be common sense and you're judged when you don’t comply. I certainly have felt the pressure over the years and where it once weighed me down, it no longer does.
At any rate, I’ve used this change in perspective experiment to work through a recent issue that was lurking in the back of my mind.
I had a concern regarding some people in my life that regularly lie. It’s obvious and I’ve caught them on it more than once. So I used this different perspective experiment and here’s what I discovered;
- The male version of me just shrugged it off with ‘that’s just how they are’ mentality and didn’t let it bother his day.
- - The 5 year-old version of me didn’t understand, assumed these were bad people and went on to play with a Barbie doll, quickly forgetting the issue.
- - The person on their deathbed felt pity for those not strong enough to face their own truth or to be honest.
When you look at things that way, it really gives you food for thought. I believe that as a woman, I often over think and over analyze both people and situations that are often not worth the time and energy that I end up wasting, not to mention the mental frustration.
So next time you're in a troubling situation, ask yourself; What would you think if you were the opposite sex? What would the 5 year-old version of you think? What would you think on your deathbed? See what you discover.